FRUSTRATION

For when I am weak, then I am strong. II Corinthians 12:10

 

Recently, I was with a mission team in Guatemala in the most beautiful setting of tropical flowers, mountains, lush foliage, and cool temperatures. The surroundings couldn’t have been more pleasant. In directing the team, however, I became frustrated with the tiniest of logistical matters, and my annoyance began to build. I continued throughout the evening through dinner and meeting time, but alone in my room, the self-recriminations began. “Why wasn’t I more patient? Knowing that God was in control, why hadn’t I just relaxed?” And on the criticism continued.
Suddenly, but quietly, it seemed that God assured me that he was still in charge, and my frustration only ensured that I was not. My weakness reinforced my extreme need for God at every moment of my day, especially when I thought I was in control. My flaws highlighted my dependence on God for his grace, his mercy, and his strength. With that sweet reminder, peace returned.
Back home, in hearing about our trip, a sweet friend, Bob, gave me a sonnet that spoke deeply to my spirit. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did:
The glorious revelations you’ve bestowed,
Ineffable displays of holy light,
Call forth my joyful praise in sheer delight,
A foretaste of my heavenly abode.
Then why this ceaseless thorn, this painful goad
Of Satan? Why not spare me pain, the blight
Of persecution, malice, danger’s fright?
From what strange stream of love have nettles flowed?
“Sufficient is my grace for you: indeed,
My power is perfected when you’re weak.
Will you for your own feeble prowess please,
When bankrupt weakness brings the strength you seek?”
Now insults, hardships, weakness are my song,
My joy: for when I’m weak, then am I strong.
(D. A. Carson. Holy Sonnets of the Twentieth Century)
Father, thank you for your regular reminders that you’re God and that we’re not. We live and move and have our being in you. AMEN.

GRACE IN TIME

But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. James 4:6 (KJV)

 

Corrie ten Boom recalled her anxiety when family friends experienced a death. She talked with her father, wondering how she would be prepared for such an event. Her father gently asked if she remembered when he handed her the ticket for their ride to Amsterdam. In wonderment, Corrie answered, “When I get on the train.” “And that is what God’s grace is like,” responded Casper ten Boom. “We get it just when we need it.”
Do you ever wonder if you’ll be ready for The Test? I have been anticipating the many changes that I envision for myself as I see the lives of those around me going in directions they’d never anticipated. One thing we can depend on is the constancy of change. Nothing alive remains stagnant. And yet, God promises to supply all our needs, and I believe that is inclusive in every sense: all physical, all material, all emotional, all psychological, and, of course, all grace.
Grace is probably not something we can store up, but we can learn in the short run how to access the grace we need for hard times. We can practice humbly asking; we can learn to trust; and we can expect God to respond to his loving child. No point in wasting time fantasizing about the future. We know that he has prepared for us wonders beyond anything we can think or imagine, and we also know that it is likely there will be dips en route.
As trust grows and as we become more secure in our love for him and his for us, grace becomes a habit. We become more expectant of this precious gift that will carry us through whatever lies in our future, and we understand that his grace has no limit. Therefore, we should come with boldness to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and may find grace for help in time of need (Heb. 4:16). There is enough to carry us joyfully to our destination.

 

Father, grace is your attribute in us that assures our safe passage from one season to the next and from one shore to the other. Cover and saturate us with your grace. In Jesus’ name. AMEN.

REFLECTIONS

…if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.  II Timothy 2:13

 

 

In speaking with my son recently about estate matters, he said, “Mom, I don’t want anything from you except some of your books and your journals.”

That gave me pause.  I have forty-two years of journals, and, although I have general memories, I certainly don’t recall everything I’ve said (or done) throughout those years.  I thought it would probably be a good idea to begin a review.  What I read left me awed.

The first journal was initiated during a particular year with lots of breakings and disappointments.  There were records of occurrences and then reflections on God’s presence.  Over and over I saw God’s presence through the darkest of times.  And they were times I would never wish on anyone…

When unexpected expenses arose, God had unanticipated resources.  Friends seemed to rally from nowhere, and my family encouraged me in the Lord.  Even with a limited budget, the children had invitations to camps, to parties and recreational events, and we were even treated to a family vacation that year.  Needs that had never arisen before were addressed in seemingly supernatural ways.  A job opening I’d not anticipated was perfect for my skills and schedule; a scholarship provided access to further education; and renters brought in needed income.

Things I had forgotten through the years stood out sharply from this present vantage point.  Of course, there were frequent references to the grief we were experiencing, but God’s grace brought comfort and assurance that he did have good plans for us, plans for a future and a hope.  He was always pointing me forward.

God’s provision was and has been remarkable.  But that was not what struck me so forcefully.  In those numerous journal pages, over and over I saw the faithfulness of God.  Through many painful days, it seemed almost impossible to go on.  So many nights seemed to have no horizons to anticipate.  And yet, even when I was faithless, he remained faithful. 

He didn’t get tired of my sorrow, my frustration, my finger-pointing, my “what-ifs,” my impatience, my weakness, and my self-orientation.  In fact, he was a friend who stuck closer than a brother and never left or forsook me.  He didn’t toss me out—he just kept working in me.

And that’s only in the first of the journals.  I don’t really remember, as I’ve already said, what’s between all the following pages, but I am confident of the ending.  And I think it will be okay for the children to read the journals.

 

Father, there is no way any of us can detail all your goodness toward us, your children.  Thank you for giving us eternity to express our gratitude.  AMEN.

I DID IT

Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.  Psalms 51:4

 

It was a visit I did not relish.  I’d discovered that one of my colleagues had been “unmasked,” and it was necessary to learn the truth.  In my work, calling and integrity are characteristics critical to effective ministry, and the integrity of my friend was being called into question.

There were numbers of troubling factors to consider.  The events had occurred several years ago, but they were just coming to light.  My charismatic friend readily charmed everyone she met.  There seemed no reason to doubt her veracity and professions of repentance.

Here were some things we had to process:  my friend’s confession occurred after the egregious wrong was discovered.  As we talked, I was told that the problems were being exacerbated because “someone was out to get her.”  And then there was the finger-pointing and self-pity.

It was easy enough to find a case with some relevance.  King David lustfully took what wasn’t his when he saw beautiful Bathsheba bathing on the roof of her house.  David was told that she was married but violated her and then sent her home.  When she notified David that she was pregnant, he sent for her husband, one of his outstanding warriors. Faithful Uriah refused to go home to his wife while the armies of Israel were still out in the field.  Finally, David plotted to have Uriah killed and gave Uriah the message that would lead to his own death.

God was angry with David reminding him of all he’d done in and for him.  As the prophet Nathan spoke to him, David was crushed and confessed, “I have sinned against the Lord” (II Samuel 12:13).  David went on to compose the 51^st Psalm in which he writes, “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge…  Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow…  Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Do not cast me away from your presence and do not take your Holy Spirit from me.”

David didn’t blame anyone for his sin; he didn’t make excuses; he didn’t point fingers; and he didn’t try to justify himself.  He accepted responsibility for his behavior and understood the grief his sin had caused God who loved him most.  David repented.  Perhaps he had felt remorse before God’s Spirit confronted him through the prophet, but when faced with truth, David knew he was guilty.

My friend hasn’t yet learned the difference between remorse and repentance.  She is sorry she was caught, but she hasn’t recognized the pride that blocks true confession—“I have sinned against the Lord.”  She doesn’t yet weep over her sin. She weeps over the cost of her “unmasking.”  Until she is able to grieve for her sin, she can’t move forward into truth and freedom.  And there will be no deep healing.

There will continue to be anger at those who exposed her rather than the joy of receiving God’s forgiveness, mercy, and grace.  But God who is willing to forgive will wait and will possibly send friends like me to love and walk with her until she is ready to take responsibility for her sin.  God is good; he can make a way; and he is remarkable in his ability to restore.

 

Father, how much we all need your Spirit to guide us and to convict us when we sin.  Thank you that you are able to keep us from falling.  Help us to live and move and have our being in you so that we walk consistently in your righteousness and bring you glory.  And help my friend; give her understanding and a willing heart.  In Jesus’ name.  AMEN.

BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE

I will sing of the mercies of the Lord for ever; with my mouth will I make known Thy faithfulness to all generations.  Psalm 89:1

 

 

I was always bemused when, in their Golden Years, my parents would often reflect on their blessings.  “God has been better to us than anybody else,” Momo would say.  And Papa would agree as they recounted God’s goodness.

The reason for my perplexity had to do with my firsthand knowledge of their circumstances for most of the decades of their lives:  I’d seen and lived through various severe illnesses, financial stresses, personality clashes, heated disagreements, griefs, and assorted crises.  And yet my parents thought their lives were better than anyone else’s.

As I get older I am beginning to understand.  My parents were faithful, committed believers but were not perfect.  They lived with the same challenges and struggles many of us encounter and sometimes, I think, they, too, may have been at a breaking point.  BUT THEY BELIEVED GOD.  Romans 4:3 says that “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.”  God knew Abraham’s heart and walked with him through all the dark places of his life just as he walked with Momo and Papa.

As we walk with the Lord, learning from the suffering and failures, praising him for his faithfulness, our trust in him (our belief) is strengthened, and we begin to know him.  We experience his faithfulness; we experience his love, his closeness, his comfort; and, like Paul, we are persuaded that he is able to keep us (II Timothy 1:12).  Over time we begin to know experientially that God is everything he says and will do everything he says.  We know that he will provide desired outcomes or the grace to enrich the most terrible circumstance.  We learn to accept his peace before the storm is stilled, and we obediently rejoice in him always.

Nowadays, I think I may be among the most blessed people alive, and then I remember Momo and Papa.  Yes, I’m beginning to understand what they mean.

 

Father, thank you for the seed of eternity you’ve put within us, and thank you for that joy and hope that continually grows as we walk faithfully with you.  Help me to walk on and on with you, as Enoch did, and someday arrive at home.  In Jesus’ name.  AMEN.

CONTENTMENT

I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  Philippians 4:11 (NIV)

 

For years my brother Jack and I had promised our dad that he could stay at home as long as his health permitted.  And then the time came when the doctor told us that Dad’s mental illness was endangering him, our mom, and his caregivers.  We had to find a safe place for him.

At the last minute, our consultant told us about family residential care in private homes with trained attendants.  Although we’d never heard of this option, we discovered that such a home was available in my parents’ neighborhood.

When Jack and I visited the family home, we knew it was God’s providential response to our promise and our prayers.  The family was Christian; one of the daughters was training to be a nurse; and we fell in love with them immediately.

Jack and I returned to our parents’ home to tell Momo the doctor’s recommendation and then to ask her a difficult question:  Would she move out of the house she and Dad had built together and had lived in for over fifty years?  We gently explained Dad’s mental condition and his need for more skilled care, and then we asked if she would be willing to go with him.  We knew he wouldn’t be able to leave his wife of seventy-one years.

“I’ll go,” Momo replied, “and I’ll like it even if I don’t like it.”  Her faithful walk with the Lord since childhood had shaped in her a willingness to be led (as Peter) in places she might not have chosen for herself.

When Papa left the hospital, Jack took him to his new “home” with rooms decorated just as they had been in the house he and Momo had shared together.  And Momo was there, full of love, full of care.

In an era when we so often are expected to think first of ourselves at the expense of those we love and who love us, I remember Momo’s “liking [her circumstance] even when she didn’t like it.”  Of her willingness to follow Christ when it meant death to her personal desires.  God’s grace and her selflessness empowered her to be the companion Dad needed for his last days, and her joy in the Lord sustained her.

 

 

Father, so many of us have wonderful spiritual heritages.  As we follow the examples of those who have gone before us, help to remember that others are watching us.  Glorify yourself in us.  In Jesus’ name.  AMEN.

ABOUT GRACE

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  II Corinthians 12:9

 

 

When my blonde friend Bea was asked by her bishop to go to a Latin American country for a mission project, she did not hesitate.  It didn’t matter that she had limited Spanish or that she’d never traveled to that part of the world.  She had a willing heart.  (And she was ignorant of the possible difficulties.)

The bishop told her to go to a certain place, and she would be told how to proceed.  Bea bought her plane ticket, boarded the plane, and took a taxi to the regional bishop’s office for further directions.  There she understood that the next day the bishop’s secretary would drive her to her destination.

The following morning, Bea once again went to the bishop’s office, and, instead of taking her to the location of the project, the secretary took her to the local bus station.  She handed Bea a ticket for the next leg of the journey and assured her she would be met by her co-worker, a tall, red-haired woman.  And then she left.

All was well until Bea saw the hundreds of people, some in groups and others in lines, waiting for their buses.  She carefully made her way from person to person showing her ticket and indicating that she was looking for her bus.  Eventually, she made it to a long line of people waiting for the bus’s arrival.

Somewhat disconcerted at the unfamiliarity of people carrying caged chickens, food for the journey, and various pieces of household paraphernalia, Bea climbed onto the indicated bus and looked around for a place to sit.  She had no clue as to how long the ride would be, when she would get off, or where she was supposed to sit.  As she peered through the rows of people already packed into place, she saw on the very last seat at the back of the bus a wiry little gentleman who was vigorously waving at her.  He called out, “Señora, señora,” and indicated that he had a seat beside him.

Bea moved gingerly through the aisle to the rear of the bus and gratefully sat down next to the kindly man.  They both began communicating with their few words of Spanish and English and generous waving of hands and arms.  The man looked down at Bea’s gold watch and indicated that she should remove it and put it in her purse, which she did.  And then they compared tickets.  “Oh, no,” she sighed.  It looked like he would be getting off the bus in another place and at a different time.

Through the hot, dusty hours Bea and her new friend continued to talk, and at a certain stop in the road, the man leaned over and said goodbye.  He was leaving.  Even though she’d known him only a short while, Bea suddenly felt bereft.  In a country where she was alone and didn’t speak the language, her only friend was leaving her.  She watched him go down the aisle and move out the door.  She turned her head so as not to see him walking away.  She looked again to see who else might be boarding, and, to her surprise, her little friend was returning.  He had come back to sit with her and gestured that he would go with her to her destination.

After many more stops and another long ride, they reach the place where Bea was to meet her mission contact.  Everyone began to exit, and her friend walked ahead of her signaling that she was to keep close to him.  They departed the bus into the large mass of jostling people coming and going and looking for loved ones.  Bea knew she’d be met by a tall, red-headed woman—in a crowd of glossy black waves.  She and her friend looked and walked through the sea of strange faces, and suddenly the way seemed to open as the tall, red-headed woman walked toward them with open arms.  “You must be Bea,” she said.  “I am Grace.”

Bea turned around to introduce Grace to her friend, but he had disappeared.  He was nowhere to be seen.  Bea will always be convinced that the sweet man was an angel sent by God to watch over a blond gringa who had stepped out by faith not knowing where she was going but trusting God to guide her.  And when she reached her destination, she was met by Grace.

 

Father, your angels are ministering spirits who help us on our way, and we are constantly accompanied by your grace.  Thank you that you give us everything we need to serve you faithfully.  AMEN.

GOD KNOWS

The Lord giveth wisdom:  out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding.  Proverbs 2:6

 

Any amalgam of figures beyond basic sums and arithmetic has always been challenging to me.  When my counselor told me that in order to receive my diploma for a post-graduate degree, the final course I needed to take was Advanced Multivariate Statistics, I almost froze in horror.  I protested long and hard—“This is supposed to be the easiest class I have to take.  It’s my last,” I complained.  He had guided me so deftly for years, and here at the end he was putting my high GPA (grade point average) in peril.

I would like to say Dr. Grey was sympathetic but instead, I think he rather enjoyed my plight.  He tried to ease my discomfort by saying that the professor was someone everybody loved and that I would have no trouble.  (But somewhere behind all the protest, I think a smile lurked.)  I left his office wondering how I would ever make it through that final course.

I arrived early the first day of class in order to visit with the professor that “everybody loved” only to discover that her class load hadn’t permitted her to teach the course.  Instead, I was confronted with a very young man wearing hiking shorts and boots and very new to the faculty—someone who, obviously, had to prove himself.  I really was between what we in Texas call “a rock and a hard place.”

After the first class, with material which seemed vaguely familiar, I took my text home and began studying.  AND PRAYING.  Every page was read and re-read and prayed over.  God had created systems and numbers and ways of interpreting data, so I went straight to the Source.  And I went straight to Matt.  (That’s what our new professor told us to call him.  Not Dr. Matt… but just Matt.)  Every time he had office hours, I was there learning from him.  And I prayed.

Advanced Multivariate Statistics is not the only challenge I’ve had, but I learned through that and other similar lessons that I don’t have to lean on my own understanding when I’m in God’s will—that HE gives knowledge and understanding, being all-knowing and the creator of all things.  We do our part (studying, in this case), and he gives us everything we need to follow him and to do his will.  We must never allow circumstances to defeat us.  He either provides the way through or gives us the resources to resolve them or the grace to live in them.

In everything, we are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus.  I AM NOT A MATHEMATICIAN, but I finished that class with an A.  Yea, God.

 

Father, thank you that you care about all our cares, even those that seem trivial to everyone else.  Strengthen our faith to trust you in all things and to stand still and to see your salvation.  In Jesus’ name.  AMEN.

FAIRY TALES

…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.  Psalm 30:5  (KJV)

 

 

She was tall, blonde, beautiful, and with all the proportions of a runway model—our new staff member.  She was charming, naïve, and newly married.  Carrie reminded us of the thrill of new beginnings and the dreams of great accomplishments.  She was visionary, and she caught us up in thinking that fairy tales just might come true.

The school year rocked along through the fall, and then we enjoyed the camaraderie of the Christmas holidays with numerous festivities.  Valentines brought a plethora of love notes and an abundance of sweets.  And then the honeymoon was over.  As Carrie moved into life as we know it, she came to my room and said with wide eyes, “I really believed the Cinderella story.  I thought all I had to do was make some promises, and I would live happily ever after…”

And that’s what many of us do in our lives as believers.  We get the heartbreak/rescue/ ever after business, but somehow we miss the classes that prepare us for the intensity of life following the rescue segment.  We look at rescue (salvation) to mean “immunization” –from worry, struggle, cares, hardship, pain, suffering, unpleasantness, heartbreak, and so on.  In actuality, rescue means access.

As God’s children, we can now access his grace in difficulty, his peace in suffering, his joy in heartbreak, his strength for struggles, his comfort in pain, and every single thing we need for life and godliness (II Peter 1:3).  We no longer have to merely “make it through” hard times; we discover the ability to be more than conquerors—being strengthened by virtue of the struggle (Ro. 8:37).

Dear little Cinderella needs her prince to rescue, provide, and care for her.  We have a constant, unfailing (Josh. 23:14) Father who sets a course for us that goes through stresses and storms while all the while ensuring that his Son is with us navigating the winds and waves (Matt. 8:23-27) and bringing us through to safety.  Our trust is strengthened, our confidence renewed, and we are better prepared for the next challenge of the voyage.

We have not been rescued to be put on a shelf and admired.  We have been and are over and over rescued as a testament of God’s grace, his power in our weakness, and his faithfulness to his promises.  Hebrews 12:12, 13 (NLT) invokes us to “take a new grip with [our] tired hands and strengthen [our] weak knees. Mark out a straight path for [our] feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.”

We have more than a Prince (or Princess) Charming.  We have access to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  AND we can live happily ever after.

 

Father, how blessed we are to be walking with you every day of our lives.  We don’t have to wait for eternity for our joy.  We have YOU.  Amen.

THERE’S ALWAYS MORE

 

I am come that they might have life, and that they might have [it] more abundantly.  John 10:10  (KJV)

 

 

I just read about a lady who was known for her extraordinary Christian maturity.  One day her pastor asked her to preach the Sunday sermon believing that her experience would be instructive to the congregation.  On the Sunday when the lady rose to speak, her sermon was short and sweet.  “Dear Friends,” she began, “there’s always more.”  And with that, she sat down.

Just begin to ponder that simple message:  there’s always more.  The God of the Infinite, the one who promised to meet all our needs, the Alpha (beginning) and the Omega (ending), the great Creator never operates in scarcity.  He never runs out of any resource—of love, of grace, of mercy, of patience, of whatever we need.  And there’s no end to the delights of knowing him.

Think of what this means in your present circumstance.  As a parent, spouse, friend, employer:  there’s more wisdom, there’s more understanding, there are more ideas, there’s more love…  As an intellectual:  there’s more to contemplate, there’s more to learn, there’s more to investigate, there’s more for growth…   As a leader:  there’s more direction, there’s more discernment, there are more resources, there’s more creativity…  As a disciple:  there’s more to discover, there’s more to obey, there’s more to abandon, there’s more to enjoy…  We could fill in the blanks indefinitely.  Suffice it to say, that in Christ, there is abundance.

Lest we consider God as having limited resources, just look at his provision for the Children of Israel in the wilderness; for Elijah in hiding; for Ruth in Bethlehem; for David in his wanderings; for Israel in exile; for feeding the four thousand and five thousand; for rescuing you and me; and for the times he is always there for his people.  His hand is not shortened that he cannot save nor is he deaf that he cannot hear our prayers (Isaiah 59:1).

We sometimes treat our spiritual beings as add-ons.  They’re peripheral to our real lives.  But Jesus says I’ve come to give you abundant life, more than we’re currently experiencing.  If we’re not living in abundance, there’s more.  God has more for us than we can think or imagine and waits for us to move beyond our impoverished selfishness into his endless provision of more.  Wherever we find ourselves, there’s always more.  Dare we take the challenge?

 

Father, charge our spiritual imaginations that we reach out in faith to you to receive more from your goodness.  Move us beyond our spiritual poverty into the richness we have in Christ Jesus.  Gratefully, we pray in Jesus’ name.  AMEN.