RECOLLECTIONS

 

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:19  (KJV).

 

From time to time I enjoy recounting to my grown children the many times God’s faithfulness has been so evident.  One of them was sharing a particular need over the weekend, and I was reminded of this story.

 

After being a college “stop-out” for twelve years, I was given an opportunity to dip my toe back into the educational process by taking one university class.  It was do or die, and I would desperately need a student loan to finish the next two years.

 

I filled out the myriad pages of the loan application with information about my status:  single parent with two children, part time employment, debts (including a mortgage), and so on.  I prayed about the packet and mailed it in, confident that I would be approved.  After all, we were living under the official poverty line, and a degree would ensure my ability to provide for my children.

 

I plodded through my university class, studying after the children were in bed and doing projects or special reports when they were away from home.  My professor assured me that I was doing well (in spite of the twelve-year absence) and that I was capable of completing a degree.  All I needed was tuition funds.

 

Mid-semester was getting closer, the time when we were to pre-register for the spring semester.  The deadline for that funding was close enough to touch.  I was getting a bit anxious but also knew I was highly qualified for a student loan.

 

When the packet arrived from the New Jersey funder, I could hardly wait to rip it open and share the good news.  I couldn’t believe the stunning conclusion when I discovered that I had been rejected.  How could I not have been approved? I wondered.  My income was not at all adequate for college tuition, and there seemed to be no other opportunities in sight.  I was devastated.

 

I wept and wept over my broken dreams and the loss of a degree that had seemed so much closer.  Finally, I laid the rejection letter on the bed and fell down beside it.  “God, if this one semester is all I’m to have, I relinquish my dream to you,” I said.  After more sobbing, I abandoned my hopes and my plans to my Father.

 

The following day I went to class, and responding to an impulse, I dropped in to see my advisor.  “Oh, I’ve been looking for you,” she said.  “I want you to interview for a job at a nearby school.”  I protested, reminding her that I didn’t yet have a degree, but she was insistent.  She called the school, and they asked her to send me right away.

 

I drove to the church school and had the strangest sensation as I walked up the front stairs.  This job is mine, I thought.  The kind, early childhood coordinator interviewed me, enlisted me to do a trial teaching stint for a week (pro bono), and then added, “If we decide to hire you, we will pay your tuition until you finish your degree.”

 

I left with a lighter heart than I’d had in days and got home just in time to answer the phone.  Another school department was calling saying they would pay my tuition if I would work with their students.  And then the university President’s office wrote to announce that I had been awarded a full scholarship for the spring semester.

 

I was hired by the church school and taught there until our headmaster retired and I had completed two degrees.  I had wanted—and prayed for a loan—God had in mind a scholarship.

 

Father, your ways are always so much higher and better than ours.  Help us always to trust you in all things, even when it seems that nothing is working the way we’ve planned.  Thank you that your provisions are infinite and your gifts are abundant.  AMEN.

TWO FRIENDS

 

[Jesus], having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.  John 13:1b (NKVJ)

 

 

They were part of a hand-picked cadre of men who had been carefully trained for a long-term mission.  For several years they had eaten, slept, lived, and traveled together in anticipation of deployment.  They were aware of the hazards that lay ahead and the potential dangers.  Still, they remained part of the chosen few.

 

While their training had been identical, their paths would slowly and imperceptibly begin to diverge although no one would know until much later.  One was a highly capable and trusted financial manager while the other was a married man who had initially answered the call of the sea.  Both were drawn to their charismatic leader – the money man cherished plans of a massive takeover; the fisherman, impetuous by nature, quickly apprehended their leader’s direction and just as quickly missed the deeper implications of his teachings.

 

After years of being part of an elite team, the money man became impatient and frustrated with their leader’s failure to seize the power that was just within his grasp.  The fisherman was content just to follow and to learn and to love and be loved.  While the fisherman fell more deeply in love with his leader, the money man became more fascinated with the funds that were entrusted to him.  He began to think of them as his own and to treat them as such.  He made of himself a thief.

 

The leader, knowing all these things, held an exclusive dinner party – just for his special men.  Taking his place at the head of the table, he seated the money man at his left side, thinking perhaps he could whisper a few words that might alter his course.  As the evening progressed, he told the select gathering that one of them would turn against him.  Was this an opportunity for the money man to change his mind?  The men were shocked and in low tones began to ask each other who that could be.  The fisherman signaled to a team member on the leader’s right to ask the identity of the traitor.  Looking with unbearable grief and entreaty at the money man seated on his left, the leader explained.  “I’m sharing this piece of bread with the one who will betray me.” Another possibility for turning.  Instead, the man took the bread, consumed it, and walked out into the darkness of treachery.

 

The fisherman swore undying loyalty to his leader.  When soldiers came to take the leader away, the fisherman followed but under pressure, he, too, betrayed the one he had sworn to love.  He betrayed him not just once but three times.  The fisherman’s heart was broken when he saw the extent of his infidelity.

 

Two friends followed the same leader.  They ate, slept, lived, and traveled together and were taught by him as they awaited deployment.  One friend took the money he’d been given to betray his leader but then tossed it back.  Instead of returning to the leader who’d chosen him in the first place, in final despair he threw himself away.  The money man played god and went to his grave.

 

The fisherman went back to his nets.  Within days the leader found him and tenderly, graciously mended his heart and re-commissioned him as a sign of reconciliation.

 

Two friends:  Judas rejected Jesus, his love, his salvation, his future.  Peter rejected Jesus but was restored by his love, his salvation, and given a future.

 

Father, nothing can separate us from your love.  You have called us, and you are able to keep us.  When we have sinned and failed you, remind us of the great price Jesus paid that we might be forgiven and restored.  In Jesus’ name.  AMEN.